Flexible Mind


Last week I was scheduled to photograph my beautiful client and friend Nicole for some updated branding shots.  I had booked a beautiful hotel space at 41North in Newport, RI, had the hair and makeup people scheduled to come and was ready to go.  And then I wasn’t.  Residents and businesses in Newport had a crazy situation of loosing their gas heat due to some weird pressure in a main gas line.  Thousands of homes and businesses were shut down and people were cold.  So needless to say, our shoot was not going to happen in Newport. 


So two days before our shoot date I was scrambling around to find another available location but with so many places out of heat in Newport, I had to look out of town.   I had been leading a meditation group at a beautiful sanctuary space at St. Mary’s church in Portsmouth, RI and thought maybe that could be an option.  They had a nice room downstairs from the chapel that was open and had great light. They agreed to let me use it. 

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I called everyone and rearranged our shoot and all was well.  This was a very minor problem for me especially considering the bigger problem was keeping people in Newport warm during this particularly cold snap during the heat outage, but it’s an example of staying flexible in my mind and body.   Life can throw you some curve balls every now and then but its how you deal with these things that makes you who you are.  You can be rolling along with your expectations of how things will go and then BAM, you hit a wall.  Something moves you in a different direction or throws you off course. 


But if you stay flexible in your mind, meaning, not getting stuck in certain expectations or outcomes, but set your intentions, make great plans and move forward with the awareness that things may shift or change.  And when they do you adjust, adapt and begin again with new plans and intentions.  When you can do this you create more ease and internal peace, which allows you to stay in your flow.  You keep the channel of creativity and possibility open instead of blocking that flow with negativity and a feeling of being stuck. 

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I had all kinds of visions of the shots I might take at 41North because I knew the space and could imagine shooting there.  I had never shot at the Sanctuary but kept an open mind.  “What is possible?” I asked myself in each moment.  What can I do here that would be just as positive for my client and the outcome of her photographs?  It kept me thinking creatively verses negatively. 


So whether you have a big upset like loosing your heat during the coldest time of the year or have to move your location for a photo shoot, check in with how you respond to these situations.  Can you see them as happenings verses something happening to you.  Stay flexible in your mind and your actions will follow.


Our shoot went beautifully because we all adjusted with ease and here are a few of the outtakes.  And thankfully the heat is back on in Newport and people are warm and safe again. 

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“I hate having my picture taken.”

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This is a phrase I have heard so many times in my thirty years of being a portrait and business branding photographer and something that I truly hope to shift in my client’s thinking.  “Getting your pictures taken is going to be so freakin’ fun.” I reply.


It is a very vulnerable feeling to be looked at so closely during a portrait session but imagine what could happen if you opened to the experience and let yourself be seen, fully seen, with raw abandon?  Oh God, I’m getting anxious just thinking about it. Right?


There have been many studies done on how attractive vulnerability can be and that it is not a form of weakness or of being incompetent.  Many of you may believe that if someone sees a side of you that is imperfect or shows emotion it will appear that you are incapable, weak or unstable.  Vulnerability, however, is about showing up with courage even when you don’t know the outcome.  It’s about trusting that you are in fact perfect with all of your various emotions, flaws and body parts.  The most successful people have failed and tried again at things and didn’t listen to others who tried to bring them down. Their success came when they trusted that their beliefs and passions were more important than their fears of being rejected or judged.    

 So what are you afraid of when it comes to being photographed? 


Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It’s tough to do that when we’re terrified about what people might see or think.” — Brené Brown

 Your ideal client want to see you as human, as someone they can connect with because you are real and not hiding behind some crazy veil of perfection.  Often they want to feel like how you look in your photos, and believe me they don’t want to feel like they have to be perfect to be successful.  That’s basically unrealistic.  Women can relate to the woman who has a few extra pounds or a wrinkle or ten around the eyes because that’s how most of us look.  What they will most identify with however, is that none of your so called imperfections are stopping you from showing up with strength, courage and joy in your photos and you are running a kick-ass business despite the judgments that may come.  It shows your passion for what you do is more important then how you look.  However, here is the irony. You will look amazing because you will be free, unburdened by judgments and happy to be in front of the camera sharing your message knowing it can help others in some way. Your confidence and joy will show up in your natural laugh or willingness to be seen as “messy”, “imperfect” and “human.”  Oh, I guess human doesn’t need quotes.  We are all human.  Go figure.


So how can you learn to be more vulnerable so you can fully show up for your photo shoot and life?  You must understand and befriend your pain points and embrace them enough to understand they are only a small part of you.  Let judgments breeze by you knowing that they are simply projections of someone else’s insecurities. Look at your life as if its a giant puzzle that is spread out on the floor and made up of your life’s issues and experiences, good and bad, and putting them all together to make up your beautiful whole puzzle self.  All that you have done, felt and experienced makes you who you are and you are now an expert at being you.  Who else could you be? Just you and you are amazing.

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So be vulnerable and say YES to being seen as your authentic and passion driven self. Let your mission and message be what drives you to let go of your fears and vulnerabilities. There is nothing to hide or do but BE in your photography experiences with me.  Be true to yourself and love yourself and all your pieces, because it is the most magnetic thing you can do to attract the clients you want to work with.  Your images will show who you are from the inside out with all of your flaws and beauty, confidence and fears and pains and joys.  By the end of our session your will LOVE having your picture taken. Tee Hee. I can’t wait to “SEE” you.


For information on booking your photography experience or mindset support to prepare for your shoot, please reach out for a clarity call at 401-225-3553 or email kbfphoto@cox.net

I want to help you shine in your business.